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| submitting me and my friend's dissertations. |
If I need to recall a moment of my life that I am the most happy and relieved at the same time, it would have to be the time I submitted my 17,000-word dissertation on the 22nd of September, 2017. I remembered how blue the sky was, and how free I felt, I wanted to scream almost. I could not say how much I was struggling in the past three months, and how much I appreciate the help and love I received in hindsight. In a nutshell, I am very happy about how it turned out at the end, and I could not ask for more then I ever had.
There were times where I doubted my choice and questioning my reasoning to let this continue, there were also times where I got so much help and eventually I was able to compose a research I am very proud of. In case you are wondering what my dissertation was about, it was an "Exploratory study on ethical labour practices of international manufacturers in the global apparel value chain". I know, it sounds complicated, I hated myself for making this the title so many times, it was very difficult, but at the end, I managed.
During the time I was writing my dissertation, many things changed in my life, I gained something, and I lost something too. I do not want to go through too much detail, because I am sure that any student is able to relate my feelings. What is important now, is that the time that we thought there was no end, finally finished. And we are able to move on to a new page in life and face more challenges.
On that day, the thing I looked forward the most, was to get a USB and throw everything related to school in that USB and toss that USB into the bottom of my drawer. And sell all the books I had to buy in this year, sell all of them on eBay and have a great feast with that money.
If you are struggling something in life now, just remember, everything will only become better and you will become stronger than you can ever imagine.
Giselle x
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如果細細回想起人生中最開心，也最解脫的那一刻，那就是繳交我的一萬七千字，超過一百頁的研究論文。抱著這麼重的一大本，心中的解脫感有如三個月便秘的屎終於拉出來了一樣的爽。天空看起來特別的藍，胸口鼓動的感覺，讓我想大笑三聲哇哈哈。順便回家把學校的所有資料扔到某一個隨身碟裡面，然後把那個隨身碟扔到衣櫃的深處，再把學校叫我買的所有的書都賣掉，用那筆錢大吃一頓。除了好爽兩個字，我說不出其他的情緒。
所有的研究生都很脆弱的，自我懷疑，沮喪想哭，皮膚變差，覺得未來一片黯淡，都是很正常的。常常覺得自己為什麼要這樣整自己，為什麼要標準這麼高，為什麼選一個這麼難寫的題目等等等。(題目是：國際成衣製造商在全球服裝價值鏈中的倫理與道德實踐之探索式研究) 題目不太好翻譯，但是大概是這樣 （有人在意嗎哈哈）。題目很複雜，我寫得很痛苦，若問我為什麼要寫這麼煩躁的題目，那個理由我可以講十分鐘。簡單來說，就是針對西方學術對於國際成衣製造現象的臆測去研究分析且批判的一篇論文。寫得批判性很突出，挑戰了一個很重要的學術理論，雖然很難寫，但是我寫到結論的時候心情很好。有可能惹到學者得低分哈哈哈。
我相信所有的研究生都經歷過情緒的大起大落，需要很多心力才能press on，但是一切結束後，實在是太開心了。沒有人可以阻止研究生畢業 （雙手握拳兩眼冒火）。可惜的是我們學校並沒有碩士生的畢業典禮，只能等到隔年七月再去參加，到時候再考慮要不要去，因為我們學校是出了名的愛坑錢呢～參加畢業典禮會被噱一筆。
每個人都有覺得日子過得很累，感覺看不到盡頭的時候，那個時候你得告訴自己，一切只會變得更好，而你也會變得比你能想像的更加堅強。
所有的研究生，一起加油。我們下次見（揮手下降）
Giselle
